Differences between husbands and wives have a greater tendency to surface the longer they are into a relationship. Contrary to the common notion of love-struck young lovers that differences will eventually disappear through the magical power of love, differences are very real especially if they exist prior to the relationship. The hope therefore that one can change the other to conform to personal expectations is quite far-fetched. This leaves couples no option but to find ways to deal with marital differences if there is any chance of saving an endangered relationship.
Our beliefs and opinions are developed by our upbringing, culture, and experiences, whether educational, religious or personal. Most married couples come from entirely different environments but even those who have more or less the same backgrounds cannot possibly agree in all aspects all the time. It is simply not possible given the human nature and the inescapable gender differences.
Short of seeking professional counseling services, spouses can still settle their differences by themselves although it would require active participation from both. The common goal is not the eradication of differences but being able to live together in harmony in spite of such differences. There is a distinction between being together because one wants to and because one has to.
Better understanding is possible only through talking and listening. Other possible options may include acceptance, providing emotional support and the determination to be a better person for one’s self and partner. Pressures in life make these differences surface but husbands and wives can work together to address them.
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Congratulations on your new blog sis! 🙂
You are so correct, the longer the relationship, the more opportunity to get to know your partner – be it differences or similarities. I think the boyfriend and I started out like day and night – so opposite in many ways – and there’s nothing wrong with that 🙂
thank you Vera. Nice to see you here!
Opposites attract daw kaya masaya din pag magkaiba may challenge 🙂
C5 @ A Woman's World says
Before we got married, both of us answered 2 questions. The answers should be the same for both of us. If not, we cannot continue. The questions were:
1. Can I live with the other person? Answer should be both yes.
2. Can I live without the other person? Answer should be both no.
With that, there is basic foundation of how much we can tolerate and be patient with the other and how much longing we have for each other. Then we can GROW in love. It DEVELOPS that’s why it GROWS. It’s not some magic that with a snap of a finger, it’s there.
It’s also a given that we come from the same mind/wavelength when it comes to religious views. It is very important because when you get kids, different beliefs mean different teachings for the kids. Which one will stand?
Despite that, there have been problems…but they have been manageable. With God at the center, it’s manageable.
Our personality types are opposites. Yet we found out that one’s weakness is another’s strength. To say that I’m a mere half and we are one is true to its intent. We appreciate our differences and develop patience every now and then. 🙂
your right sis with God at the center of your marriage everything will be okay.
congrats to your new domain:) i’m your new follower
good advice. wish i’d read this years before my hubby and I separated..hehe
sorry to hear that sis! but alam mo kung makakabuti naman to both of you then being separated is better.
save marriages says
Getting separated or a divorced seems to be a very simple process, but it leaves a high impact on personal and family life of a person.
The Pepperrific Life says
Exactly! Since we come from different backgrounds, arguments inevitably are a part of any married couple’s lives. Look who’s talking… me, from a failed marriage :). I guess we do learn from our mistakes. It all boils down to how much you love each other, and are committed to make the marriage work. Yes, communication is a huge factor in moving any marriage in the right direction.